An Update.

So as the year comes to close once again, it is time to review the craziness of 2017. I am sure one day I will be reading over this not remembering anything that happened during the year but to me right now, right here, this year has been everything and more. Lets be frank here, I have had the best year of my life but also in some ways the worst. I feel like I have finally been able to show my true ‘teenage ruthlessness’ this year and become the rebellious teen I have seen so often in movies.

I am sure future me has already read over and over my diary that I keep hidden away and dear god I hope that future me hasn’t lost it, because in so many ways it is the most important possession I own. I know myself and know that one day I will forget everything that ever happened to me leading up to now, considering even at the age of seventeen I can’t remember moments of my childhood from a few years back.

The year of 2017 was a wild one. It came with new friends and friendships, heartbreak, love, mental health, many tears and many sleepless nights. It also came with so many ‘firsts’, and in a way I feel so much different than from the start of the year. Me being a total innocent who hadn’t even been pecked on the cheek or held hands with someone, to a girl who has grown up and experienced so much more than she hoped for, including a possible pregnancy scare (thank god). I have grown so much in the past year and feel like as I approach my final year of high school, it is only get more crazy and wild and in so many ways I can’t wait.

Sure, there is always the horrible idea of leaving all my amazing friends at the end of next year to start a new chapter in my life. One that I really don’t want to turn before being ready. The impending doom of what could be my future is terrifying, especially considering the fact I’m in a relationship and couldn’t imagine moving away from my boyfriend for 5 years to study vet. Sure I’ll only be an hour and half away but it’s this distance that will evidently lead to ur break up, if not before than.

As I sit in my bedroom listening to music with my dog next to me, I can’t help but be both overwhelmed with joy and happiness but also sadness. Another year has almost gone by (even though its only November) and before I know it, i’ll be 30 years old at home with the children being a middle aged mum. It’s terrifying to know that time moves so much faster than it ever has before and that my now seventeen year old self will never been seventeen again.

Which leads to me to think that I have just got to stop thinking about all this growing up bullshit and live life in the moment and enjoy the fact that I will never be as reckless and crazy as I currently am and that I  got to live my wild teenage years to the fullest.

 

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